Love Lessons part 4

* you wield more power wearing a sundress than you do wearing a bikini. The girl who gives it all away up front, be it her flesh or her feelings, is boring. As I've said before, a little mystery is attractive. Not to mention it's exhausting trying to constantly outdo yourself. If you're always always always over-the-top, where else do you have to go but down?

*When you're out with a new guy go easy on the booze. This serves two purposes: One, you won't be a swearing/crying/stumbling mess. Let him get to know your charming, sober self before you unleash the gin monster upon him. And ease into it slowly. Let him know you sober many times, tipsy a few times and then if you're comfortable, go ahead and get drunk. That's the formula that works for me. Secondly, you don't really know this guy yet. I hate to get all McGruff the Crime Dog on you, but what if he turns out to be a creeper? You need to be able to get away intact, which is hard to do if you're inebriated. And even if he's not the Zodiac Killer, don't you want a clear headed, beer goggle-free impression of him? I dated a man once that I was on the fence about. I was drunk the first time we kissed and really drunk the first time we had sex. In hindsight, that really should have been a red flag.

*Remember math class? I do, because I hated it. I had some kind of mental block when it came to learning anything involving numbers (except of course, phone numbers. Those I picked up right away.) I was the girl counting on her fingers while taking the SAT's. But one thing that's always stuck with me were fractions. Remember fractions? Finding the lowest common denominator? Well, the phrase "lowest common denominator" can also apply to men. If he has some quality that irks you, play a little math game with me: Assume that the way he is right now is his lowest common denominator. What if this is as [fill in the blank] as he ever gets? Would you still love him, just as he is now? Not when he's more successful or better looking or more affectionate. Just like his is right this second. If the answer is yes, then you know everything is OK. If you can look at him and only see his potential, that might be a problem. You can't love someone for what you want them to be. That's not fair to either of you. And with that, class is dismissed.