Thank you, Stevie.

I took my love, I took it down
climbed a mountain and I turned around
and I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills
'til the landslide brought it down

The day I found out he cheated on me was the worst day of my life so far. But not only had he cheated, she had gotten pregnant. Not only had she gotten pregnant, she had aborted it. I'm not a staunch pro-lifer or anything, but my eighteen year old mind couldn't wrap itself around the fact that my boyfriend of three years, the boy I'd given everything I'd have to give, could father a child that was now dead. I couldn't handle it. My world was crashing down around me faster than I could keep up. The world where he loved me and we were happy was dissipating like melting snow.

oh, mirror in the sky
what is love?
can the child within my heart rise above?
can I sail thru the changin' ocean tides?
can I handle the seasons of my life?
I don't know...

Get ready, because this will be harsh. That's what I thought anyway. I steeled myself to show no mercy. I didn't care if he pleaded, cried, or begged for my forgiveness. I would have to be as insensitive as he had been. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to separate how you feel from what you know. I felt betrayed, hurt and confused. I knew I couldn't let those feelings out around him, because it would portray a weakness. I just had to break up with him and let that be the end of it. I looked him in the eye and told him she called me and I knew everything. I told him we were done. What did he have to say for himself? Surprisingly little. Nothing about his expression or demeanor changed. He acted like I had just told him there was air all around us. He actually smirked and said, "You're a smart girl. I thought you would've figured it out by now." What. The. Fuck. No remorse, no stammering for an excuse. Nothing. I should've figured it out and dumped him before now? Seriously? He was no longer the beautiful boy who could do anything and charm everyone around him. I no longer felt privileged to be by his side. I just felt let down. Was this love? My first real love became my first real heartbreak so quickly I was dizzy. As I turned and walked out of his life, I wondered if I'd be able to keep walking, no looking back.

well, I've been afraid of changin'
'cause I've built my life around you
but time makes you bolder
even children get older
and I'm getting older too

At first I was hesitant to move on. He was everything to me for three long, important years. I had defined myself in his presence. Who would I be without him? This was a scary question. But what was even worse was who I would be if I stayed with him: Weak. Humiliated. Resentful. I couldn't live like that. So I slowly began rebuilding myself apart from him. I tried to hold onto the good memories and take the heartbreak as a lesson learned. It was hard, sure. But it was also exhilarating.

oh, take my love, take it down
climb a mountain and turn around
and if you see my reflection in the snow covered hills
well the landslide will bring it down.

Looking back, the scarier thing is that I let myself be so taken by someone. I fell hard and I fell fast as most of us do with our first love. But in doing so, I gave up any opportunity to create my own identity. Being years away from the situation, I'm actually grateful it happened. I know that I learned a lot. The most important thing I learned from this was that growth is sometimes painful. I needed to grow in myself, as a person. This growth had to come to me in the form of cheating, which sucked of course but I'm a lot stronger for it now.
The second most important thing I learned from that experience was that the right song at the right time can change your life.