Blinded by rage, or maybe I'm just mean.

I recently found this blog entry http://positivelylinda.tumblr.com/post/9296992737/a-reminder and became blinded by rage. It was so ridiculous I felt that I couldn't see straight. I don't believe I have feminist leanings. I'm a pretty moderate chick. But I'm not here to get political or go on a tirade in favor of either "side". I just wanted to share this because it's completely ridiculous. 

If you don't want to read this woman's boring and poorly punctuated blog entry, basically she talks about going to the grocery store with her husband and she can't reach the cream soda. Instead of him just reaching for her, like a logical human being, he tells her to get it herself. She somehow manages to get the soda down by ducking under the soda display and poking her fingers through the metal bars of the shelf. She admits to looking and feeling like a fool, but he's smiling at her and "cheering her on" through the entire process. Actual quote from the blog: When I got them to the front and pulled my head out from the bottom shelf, his face was lit up with a huge smile, and he gave me a big hug, like he’d never been more proud of me. :)

SERIOUSLY?

She didn't finish a marathon. She didn't even finish a game of ping-pong. She got some soda off a shelf. She sounds like a damn puppy who learned to make pee pee outside. I understand that not everyone has lofty goals and aspirations. It's all relative. But come on, getting soda off the shelf does not count as showing your man what you're made of. The last line actually says "Using your brain is hot". Way to set the bar low, lady.

I understand that sometimes life throws things in our path and it takes strength we sometimes didn't even know we had. But that usually does not come in the soda aisle at Safeway. He is not her dad or her teacher. I love learning and growing through my relationships. But not through getting soda off a shelf. This was not a character-building moment. It was grocery shopping. A commenter on the blog said it perfectly: Moral of the story: no one deserves to be patronized. You have sex with this man, right? So then why does he treat you like a child instead of an equal?

Am I right? Was this incident incredibly stupid and condescending? Or am I just bitter and cruel?

Square Peg...Meet Round Hole

I believe I thrive in the midst of awkward.

Not the newly-popular, Buddy Holly glasses-wearing, "ZOMG I'm soooo adorably awkward!!!! Teehee!!!" brand of awkward. What I mean is, I enjoy smoothing things over, acting as a type of social lubricant. I'm like alcohol, but slightly less addictive. Throw me into a work function, a baby shower, garage sales, or anywhere else that people don't quite mesh. This is where I shine. I believe that I facilitate social situations.

It goes without saying that relationships are rife with awkward moments. And as an expert on awkward, I know that sometimes the best tactic is to get out in front of it, address it before it becomes a huge issue. For example: You're on a dinner date and you're conspicuously avoiding alcohol. By all means, tell him honestly why you don't drink. Keep the details edited, but just be honest. So that covers booze, crisis averted! But now you're wondering, what about the rest? In a new relationship, when is the best time to bust out the parade of exes? The quirks? The potential red flags?

We've all got them. I understand, honey. You want Mr New and Exciting to know you are emotionally scarred and your heart is guarded. You will not put up with one-word text messages because Philip never understood your fiery artistic spirit and that's why you started doing yoga. You believe the way to get him to like you is to put it all out there, be up front, bold, uncompromising. If he hears it all now, those things won't scare him off later, right? So put it all out there! Guess what: new guy is now running for the door. Not because you were honest. Because only a lunatic lays out her entire sordid history on the first date. 

As a general rule, keep the cliches in your pocket. If you use phrases like "I have to love myself before I can love anyone else", you don't sound mature and self-aware. You sound like you memorized a Redbook article and are spouting off meaningless buzzwords. I am a firm believer that we can be our own greatest spokesperson, or bring about our own demise. So edit! Don't lie. Edit. As you spend more time with this guy, everything about you that is adorable, valuable and lovable will be revealed. Through time spent together and sharing various experiences, your amazing qualities shine through. Guess what....your fears, doubts and reservations will reveal themselves in the same way. So let it happen naturally. Go slowly. And cautiously. Don't force the awkward to come out because you think you can fix it. You'll probably just end up making it worse. Don't keep forcing that square peg because you think that someday it will magically fit. It won't.